My friends tell me I watch too many medical shows on TV. I love them and am so completely hooked. Fortunately the programming directors of major channels understand my needs and have booked plenty. Most revolve around hospitals. We never tire of them. Each show takes place in a different city either in the surgery department or the emergency room. It has to be a place of much action and split second last-minute thinking I love these shows. The doctors can resolve any problem, no matter how fast it happens, with a few nearby tools. If they don’t have the right tool, they fabricate one. I loved one scene where this guy grabbed the trauma shears to break open a costume an accident victim was wearing. It was made of hard metal and it took several severe blows to crack it open to get to the broken leg inside in order to treat it and assess the damage. Imagine other cool things you can do with something like trauma shears. You can open any locked door, shave off a car glove compartment, or kill a faulty computer you no longer love with one whack. Where do you get them anyway? Like everything on earth—online. The best trauma shears are heavy duty to handle any hack job you might need as you go through life. No, they aren’t going to let you on the set to practice for a while.
Perhaps such dangerous weapons should be kept in the trunk of your car, the basement, or the garage. You aren’t going to play hospital any time soon and you certainly don’t want your kids to do so. You don’t want to create the trauma that will have to be fixed with the shears. What is it about powerful tools anyway? It makes you feel invulnerable and ready to tackle any emergency at hand. You want to know what I want for my birthday—trauma shears. Imagine the size of a package that wraps this baby. If your garden shears get a look, they will be mighty jealous. The glades don’t even compare nor the size of the handles. Don’t you remember seeing them at the fire station as a child when you got to take a tour? Don’t you remember horror stories about the jaws of life, too? Weaponry isn’t just guns and ammo. It is more than a plastic lance. You could certainly intimidate any schoolyard bully with trauma shears, before they sent you home that is. Imagine the expression on your mother’s face when she came to take you and the shears home.
Meanwhile, become a script writer and put more cool scenes in the TV shows using stuff like trauma shears. Think outside the box and how many ways you can wield them. Think of the killer in the ER as a scenario, sneaking from bed to bed looking to wreak havoc. Then think of the enterprising doctor who saves the day with his own trauma shears carefully responding in kind.