- Entertainment

Messy Movie Theatre

Perhaps there is no greater movie fan than me, handsome Harry. I am a breed apart so I am told. I am avid and eager about films every day of my life. If I am not viewing, I am reading about them. I want to know what’s up, what’s the latest, and above all what’s best.

I am a movie fanatic. That is certainly my opinion. I love it all: stars, sets, lighting, costumes, makeup, editing, directing – you name it, I admire it. I want to live it, feel it, and breathe it. Fiction, nonfiction, historical piece, fantasy, documentary, animation, they are all my favorite genres. Put me in a dark room, dim any remaining lights, close the doors, and turn on the projector. I am in my zone.

Lately I feel like watching movies at home, yes alone. It is not because I am antisocial mind you. It is because of the awful state of the modern movie theater. Ugh. Maybe it was always this way, but I am noticing it more and more that theaters are places of debris. They are dirty to the core. They are repositories of refuse. They are just plain filthy, full of spilt sticky soda, gummy candy, and oily popcorn. Movie viewers must feel like they have to feed the floor. I get that a movie theater would be a difficult place to clean – stairs are difficult to vacuum and there’s only a short amount of time between each movie.

My local theater certainly looks like it has not been vacuumed and scrubbed for years and the foyer to the theater has not seen a mop in some time – there’s spilled soda everywhere and the floor is grotty. I’ve complained to the manager several times, but apparently the owners don’t care. It almost feels like it needs someone like Gordon Ramsay or Marcus Lemonis to come in and fix this broken business.

The cleaning crew faces this ghastly scene every night (or early morning as it may be). They probably are thinking why bother if it is all going to happen again in just a few hours. So they pick up the popcorn boxes and soda cans and trot home, the day’s work is done. They return like zombies into the litter zone. They sigh with dismay if there is a particularly large amount of gum under the seats or melted chocolate that won’t budge.

Why not have a little responsibility I say and leave my fertile film territory in better shape. Take a big or stuff junk in your backpack. You can discard it on your way out of the theater. Have a little mercy on people like me that don’t want to smell food odors while they view the big screen. Don’t force me into big theater retirement. I hate watching a scenic film on my iPhone.

Think about your shoes if nothing else. You walk around in food dung and it clings to your soles for life. Hard to get rid of chewed gum, right? You end up with traces of candy on your home carpet and maybe on your nice bedspread. If you think I am trying to gross you out, you would be right. Accept my point and get my drift as I am darn serious about this state of affairs. We can all pitch in to make it better, each and every one, as we adopt a new etiquette for the local movie theater. Bravo and good bye.